The Art of Saying “NO”
The art of saying “no” to people, whether in a work setting or at home, could be quite a game changer. Taking on too many tasks or commitments to please others could result in burnout or not being able to get anything done in time. In order to stay on track, stay productive and decrease highly stressful situations, one must learn to say NO politely. It might come at the cost of letting your near and dear ones down, but if that is something that you cannot accommodate into your schedule you must let it go. But saying “NO” to anyone does not come easy. For one, it could lead to disappointment, hurt and possibly fracturing of a couple of delicate relationships. So saying “no” in the right way is very important. It should be gentle yet assertive enough for the other person to realize your boundaries. Here are a few tips on how you can do that:
Value your own time- You must realize how important your time is to you. So next time someone asks you to do something out of your schedule, you could be honest and tell them that it might be a little difficult to squeeze it in. They would undoubtedly be able to understand what you are going through and respect your openness and honesty. If they still insist you could probably let them know by when the task could be completed according to your schedule and let them know the adjustments you would be making just for them.
Prioritize- Sometimes, you may have some spare time at hand and have some requests for extra work to be completed by friends, family or co-workers. At such times, it is really a decision you must make about who’s request would take precedence. If doing some extra projects at work could set you up for a promotion or raise, definitely go ahead and take up that challenge.
No need to Apologize- As per common belief, starting of your let down sentence with “I’m sorry but….” might make it seem more polite. While being polite is certainly essential, apologizing makes you come across as weak. But you must realize that guarding your time is not something you should feel bad about. You have every right to decide what things are important to you.
Letting down a person in authority- Sometimes you might be faced with a tough decision to say no to your manager, supervisor or boss. It could be intimidating and nerve-wracking to put this across without seeming like you are trying to shirk away responsibilities. So, it is imperative that you let the authority know that in taking on more than you can do at that point, you are jeopardizing your productivity and weakening your full potential on the current projects/tasks you are working on. You could work with your supervisor/boss to create a schedule and re-prioritize your tasks to meet deadlines.
Getting back when unsure- If you find yourself in a fix and are unsure if you would be able to take on a request, let that person know that you will get back to them. Use the time to ponder over it, check your commitments and priorities, and whether you would be able to accommodate. If you still feel you would not be able to or don't want to go forward with it, you could tell the person that you gave it a thought and checked your prior commitments but won't be able to accommodate their request at that time.
Indirectly saying “no”- Most of us have actually mastered the art of this. You know when a bunch of your friends invite you for a night out or drinks, and you just want to stay tucked in bed and enjoy that glass of red wine and a nice action flick? What do you do? Well, make an excuse, of course! Say you are working late, busy with a project, your dog’s unwell, and the list is endless. Do you feel guilty about it? Rarely!
Remember, there’s no need to feel ashamed or guilty of turning down a task that you simply do not wish to do. It is your time and your decisions. The more you practice saying “no” in sticky situations, the better you will get at it.
References:
Babauta, L. (n.d.). The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life. Retrieved from https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/the-gentle-art-of-saying-no.html
Foroux, D (n.d.). The Art Of Saying No: 4 Ways To Reclaim Your Time. Retrieved from https://dariusforoux.com/the-art-of-saying-no/
